Thomas has severe bathroom disorders, several minor retardations, and severe social dysfunction. Everything he says and does involves shit, anuses, rectums, or bathroom "activities."
He is, however, a highly gifted clairvoyant. This strange ability leads to my next segment...
I've never told Thomas that I use my pubic hair ashes for seasoning. There is no way he could have learned this fact. This leads to one possible conclusion: Thomas also roasts his pubic hairs into an ash pile and uses it as seasoning!
This is bullshit. I can't even enjoy my own ass potatoes, or pubic rice anymore, knowing this fucker is out there, spicing up his meals with his own burnt pubic hair.
I would say peace out here, but I hate almost everyone, especially you.