How the universe was created and why it's always been here

I'm going to jump off of a fucking cliff right now and attempt to explain something profound on this fucked up blog.

Did you ever remove yourself from conventional thinking, look around, consider the universe and the so-called big bang, and wonder, "where did all this shit we call 'something' come from?"

I sure as fuck did. I've done it for over 30 years. And I'm not yet 40.

I'm going to break it down for you dumb fucking mindless lemming sheep real fucking simple. And why no one else has posited this shit before is beyond rape.

Opposites create one another.

There is obviously something here now. Let's be simpletons and call something the universe.

Scientists have traced the universe's history back to it's origin. Well, almost. Sorry fuckers, almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and hydro-thermal nuclear weapons. And maybe if you're a lucky motherfucker, it counts in cornhole games too. And this is coming from a godless hillbilly redneck fuckwald.

Since we have a whole lot of observable something now, at some time there must have been an opposite to create it. Let's call this opposite "nothing." Since nothing cannot exist without something to create it, then the Big Bang singularity must have been created by nothing. An infinite amount of time ago. WHAT? You fucking heard me. The most difficult thing for humans to grasp is infinity, but in this case, you have no choice.

Something was always here, because an infinite amount of time ago, nothing created something.

Like it or not, that is the fucking answer.

For those of you looking for that long lost site

A tiny, forgotten neighborhood known to some of you as the Sex Project will be returning soon. In some capacity. It won't be the full-fledged forum and reference site you remember. It'll be new. It'll be different. It won't be, but it will be. If none of this makes sense to you, then go stab your worthless brain with whatever random object, I don't give a fuck.

Trolling 'victims' are idiots, not victims.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on... everyone?

Check out this story about Richard Bacon, a "trolling victim." And likely a closet homosexual, and an all-around fantastic brainwave flatliner.

http://www.itv.com/news/2012-03-18/ex-blue-peter-presenter-victim-of-online-troll-abuse/

Nowhere does it mention that in 2 years of being a "trolling victim" that he attempted to execute the simplest solution to being trolled: IGNORE IT!

Trolls feed on attention. Ignore them for a while, and they will fade away and eventually disappear because they latch on to new victims. Richard Bacon always responded, being the genetic marvel that he is. And now his little bastard son is available for an even wider audience to troll. If son is like father, we trolls can count on a lifetime of trolling fun for everyone. Until he kills himself, anyway.

Getting trolled by One Goh

"It's very, very sad," police Chief Howard Jordan said. "We have seven people who didn't deserve to die and three others wounded because someone who couldn't deal with the pressures of life."

What a fucking cheap shot. Once someone is dead, regardless of what they did in life, they're even with the house. For Jordan to stab at One Goh like this suggests he's compensating for a lack of understanding. He has not the resolve or intelligence to figure out why these things happen, and possibly prevent them in the future. As a police chief, a person in an important position of leadership, this is a horrible mentality.

People like Howard Jordan deserve to be shooting victims. I'm not saying he should die in a shooting... but it wouldn't hurt the world if he suffered a bit. Then he could die.

Amen.

Treyvon Martin

The only thing that stood out to me was that Treyvon was unarmed. What, did he lose his gun? Did his bitch hide it in his workboots, or what?

I don't care about his death. Thousands of people die every day, for reasons ranging from natural causes to murder. When the news media sensationalizes stories like Treyvon's, they are trolling all the facebook and twitter drones, and they're profiting greatly from it.

Awesome.

People like me actually enjoy seeing these clowns get all worked up over stupid shit that doesn't matter to them. I enjoy stories like this one even more because I am a racist and I hate all minorities.

Fuck you.

What's the smallest thing in the universe?

Trick question.

The 'smallest thing in the universe' is an undefinable, imaginary concept. Most sources quote that quarks are the smallest known objects in the universe, and others postulate theories in which smaller objects may exist.

Beyond this, lies the magical zone between the mortal barrier of perceptibility, and the next generation of universe in all its original vastness. Our lives mimic the life cycle of the universe because we are entwined with it.

In a perverse way, it makes sense. And yet, you can never devise any sort of test to prove it. It is a religion all to itself.

Or, does a deity reside within this magical, unseen, postulated area of reality? Some sort of resemblance to an actual earthly religion's description? I don't know.

TLDR:

You can see things smaller and smaller until something in a place you can't see becomes as large as the whole universe. I don't know.

Getting trolled by big corporations

Time is money.

This fact is proven and inarguable.

The coupons you waste time clipping, filing, organizing, saving, and using. You're being trolled, because if you used that time more effectively, you'd save more money.

Go ahead, do the math.

I know you fucking idiots love math because you carry calculators. It also tells me you waste time reading stupid shit that is mostly filled with ads anyway. Paying more for less time is always a bargain. Paying full price in 5 minutes usually beats paying a discounted price for 5 hours of work. If you weren't on welfare, and had to actually spend less than 100% of your time being off work, you might learn that.

Those guarantees on the back of all the stupid, cheap, low-cost items you buy?

They're worse than worthless.

Just because you want to be a stubborn cunt and return a 99 cent bag of chips because YOU believe they were "stale" after you opened them on March 1st and just now got around to eating the rest of them. Guess what, moron? All that time you wasted getting trolled by a stupid fucking trollbait company's worthless guarantee to return some piece of shit item and piss off some poor customer service rep? You're the one losing money.

Those people get paid to put up with your stupid idiotic bullshit.

Again, I urge you to do the math. If you were the one working customer service instead of being trolled by corporations, you'd come out ahead.

Either way, you're a worthless sack of shit who isn't doing me any good. I have no criminal record, but there is nothing and certainly no law preventing me from starting the killings at any time.

This is why terrorism is so successful.

How to poop without fucking up your life

Everybody poops. Some do it with pain. Some die while pooping. You will want to avoid death by poop like so many others haven't!

STEPS

1. Lubricate your pooper well. Use petroleum jelly, anti-bacterial zinc ointment, or eczema cream. (May be difficult if turds or leaky farts have already begun turtleheading or prairie-dogging out the back door. If this happens, record a detailed video and call 911 immediately. Tell the operator that a terrorist attack has occurred on your ass.)

2. Whatever you do, don't force the poop out. Sit down on the toilet gently, naturally, and patiently. Let your body and nature take their course. Allowing the bum muscles to do their thing will help avoid any unnecessary tearing, and will allow the poop to slide out doing minimal damage.

3. Clean yourself up immediately after dropping your deposit into the porcelain bank! The longer the feces has to infest your sore butt and give you cancer and AIDS, the harder it will try. Hypoallergenic moist wipies are best, followed by a gentle pat-dry with soft plain tissues or toilet paper.

TIPS

* If you have open sores on your back door trap, and they don't get better or go away after following this guide, then you may have cancer. Just kidding. The possibility exists, but you must see a doctor or three before you'll get anywhere.

* Don't overdo it! Excessive cleaning measures will make the condition much worse.

* Don't turtlehead a turd for 3 days and then wonder why your southern focus is wrecked beyond belief. Follow the steps above and get this issue taken care of immediately.

* See a doctor. Maybe the last thing in the world you would do, but being sent to the hospital unconscious might force you into a much worse situation.

* Keep your bum clean. Take regular showers, but don't overdo it, and don't scrub the afflicted region too hard. These can make it worse.

* After a shower, and after you've dried off completely, apply petroleum jelly, antibacterial zinc ointment, or eczema cream to the afflicted area before it becomes worse. Prevention is the best strategy. If you are on the mend but not out of the woods, this tip is crucial.

* Consider a humidifier. Cold, dry winter months tend to excacerbate all skin conditions.

WARNINGS

If you see blood clots, blood in the poop itself, or if pooping becomes too excruciating to handle by yourself, seek the help of a medical professional. There are many fine nurse practitioners and doctors out there in clinics and hospitals who deal with far worse on a daily basis, and they can help you.

I originally posted this article on WikiHow, but it'll most likely be deleted by an Indian with a penchant for do-gooding and overzealous bullshittery. Amen.

Birds are more advanced than us...

Birds grow their own waterproof clothes, they communicate to each other in languages we are a long way from cracking, they can count, they can use tools, and many of them are highly adaptable to human environments. Oh, and THEY CAN FUCKING FLY.

Why hasn't anyone else noticed this before?

Jessica Hammond

She should really google nicknames before stealing them.

Being associated with me can't possibly do anyone any good.

Solving common password annoyances

So these days, you have to register an account with every single fucking thing you do online. Understandable, by itself, a mildly annoying side effect of a digital world.

But wait. You must choose a password. It must be between 6 and 14 characters, have 1 letter and 1 number, 1 upper case and 1 lower case letter, must be 24 characters long, must not contain a word, must be changed again in 45 minutes, and no special characters.

What the fuck?

So, unless your IQ is 185, you're going to devise your own insecure means by which to remember these passwords, such as writing them down or saving them into a file. Wow, that's fucking secure as shit! Great programming! Stupid mother fucking idiots...

I'm not going to take full credit for what I'm about to tell you, but I'd be wrong not to share this. You don't need passwords that are impossible to remember. You don't need 1000 rules a password must follow. Which makes it far less secure by eliminating possibilities anyway, fucknards. You don't need a special card with all your life's passwords written on it. What you need is a simple solution.

Great yarn joust chemical.

Say what? That's an example of a password or, more precisely, a passphrase that is very secure and easy to remember. Take 3-5 random words, string them together, and you just created a password that maximizes security with remembrance.

Unfortunately, most sites enforce ridiculous password rules, and prevent registrants from selecting such eloquent passwords.

So, go out there and light a fire under their asses and tell them to wisen the fuck up.

What is God?

I believe God is the voice inside your head. I believe it's not just inside me, but in everyone. Except retards and lesser animals. It's that voice you identify as coming from your own brain, and it directs your actions and engages you in a personal dialogue. You trust that it is you with no alterior motives.

North Korea

Is North Korea dark because they fail to create lights, or because they don't need lights? Lighting up the night is wasteful, disadvantageous, and stupid. Think about night vision, stealth, and deception, just to name a few.

They can purchase anything they want, at any cost. Even at the cost of the lesser half of their own humanity. The west has failed miserably at recognizing that people are not equal. Facades, illusions, delusions, and grand gestures of denial will never defeat this truth. Where do you think trillions of dollars will come from? Keep on fucking. You have no idea the gravity and depth of that concept, but if you are lucky, your grandchildren will repay your favor and remind you.

Anarchy

Anarchy.

One of those loaded words, instantly inciting emotional responses from all sides.

What is true anarchy?

Anarchy involves dynamic social groups that evolve and dissolve in real time to meet prudent needs. This is true anarchy. Teenagers ranting about "fuck the police" and "fuck mom and dad" is bullshit anarchy. If you're some cocksucking little titsucker, then not-so-kindly fuck off right now. Otherwise, keep reading.

Think about our society. There are authorities, laws, and police. There is also terrorism, murder, rape, and all other unimaginable forms of personal violation. Our archaic system of dealing with unwanted elements is inefficient at best. At worst, it enables those we wish to protect ourselves against.

In a society without government and policing, individuals would be empowered to protect themselves. With great responsibility comes great liability, and inevitably the weak would perish, as they should.

True anarchy involves self-rule and honesty. A society of anarchists would necessarily exist as a more perfect republic. Groups of individuals whom identify as kin support one another, and all transgressions would be handled naturally and punished accordingly.

The illusion of safety

All of the protections outlined to citizens in laws and traditions were created by the weak majority of fear-driven fucktards. They bear nor claim no real responsibility, and oppress the world with their ignorance and stupidity. Through the illusions they create, safety is abused as a comforting bribe. Well played, neanderthals... well played.

Do something good

In sharp reversal of my previous posts, I am going to say something completely unexpected.

Do something good for someone.

No matter how pissed off you are, no matter how much you fucking hate everyone, just do this once. You'll find it'll help you feel better, if not immediately, then later on.

It's like pay it forward, but without the philosophical system surrounding it.

Girls, phones, and pedophiles

To the girls

Yes, keep looking at your phone. Don't look at me. Very good... keep walking and pay no attention to the drooling pedophile that is eye-raping regions of your body that you have not even explored yet.

Their heads buried in their phones, they wander aimlessly around the mall, the supermarket, and all the local spots. Completely lost in a reality far removed from the only real one. The one with real pedophiles, who pose a real danger, who stalk and plot in real-time, just feet away from you. No, you will not know one when you see one. And how can you, if you never bother to look?

To the pedophiles

Ignore the ones with their phones safely stowed, as per unwritten instruction, in their tightjeans back pocket. Focus on the ones mashing tiny thumb buttons, lost in their fashion magazine alternate reality. They stray easily. They're slow, disoriented, and disconnected. Easy prey.

I'm definitely not a pedophile. I sincerely apologize to anyone who may have been misled, but I'm making an entirely different point.

About the phones

Pay attention to your surroundings.

Lost as you may be in your happy fun teenaged world of internet phone godlikeness, your physical life and physical body exist in a world that is very much like the hell you think of in your fantasy internet delusion.

Be aware of people who will exploit all of your weaknesses and at least, take advantage of you. At worst, they'll kill you. Maybe after more torment, agony, and breakdown than you have ever known.

Pop your fucking head up and figure out what the fuck you're doing, because from what I've seen, I'm only surprised there aren't more teenagers raped and killed. I said raped and killed, and I fucking meant it.

Think of me as Cecil in Final Fantasy IV. I am one born of the dragon, bearing the darkness and light. I choose good. I know bad. I fly through the Internet, armed with the truth. Wake the fuck up and save yourself.

Bullet Dodging

I've often thought about the exciting and dangerous ability of a human being to dodge firearm projectiles with any hint of skill.

Rather than focusing on the vast array of complexities in scenarios where bullet dodging would be necessary, I'm going to focus on the specifics of the skill itself. Now, I know you aren't going to recall vast amounts of ordered information in a dire situation such as being shot at, so I'll be brief as possible.

First, what is needed to employ this skill?

• someone about to shoot you
• high agility and control
• extreme mental fortitude
• good footwear
• good eyesight

And there are undoubtedly more. Obviously, not just any fucktarded sack of shit could walk into something like bullet dodging and escape an epic fail, so I'll speak to the svelte and witted few who are reading this.

Why the fuck would anyone want to do this?

I can think of a few good reasons.

• could save your life
• highly challenging
• is fucking awesome

It wouldn't be intelligent to ignore the cons.

• could easily do nothing to save your life
• almost impossible to learn from mistakes
• highly challenging

Obviously, once aim is set and the trigger is engaged, there's nothing you can do to change your fate. You might react fast enough to alter the course by a few nanometers, and perhaps some fag scientist will pop off with some better information on that.

What you can change is your reaction before the trigger is engaged.

How to play a player

This is where people skills come into play. As I illustrated before, dodging bullets has almost nothing to do with actual bullet dodging. The key is to read your shooter, and react to his physical cues. While a guaranteed dodge is impossible, anything you can do to improve your chances of survival is priceless information.

Watch his aim!

Pay attention to where he is aiming. Read his body language with your natural instincts. When you know he is about to shoot, dodge to either side with all you've got once you see his trigger finger begin to squeeze. Try to land in a position you can easily attempt another evasion from. Do everything you can to find cover or escape with each dodge, and be sure to mentally note the number of successful dodges you achieve, because that shit is fucking godlike bragging rights.

Politics

I finally understand.

Republicans want 19 people to have 180 billion dollars while everyone else has nothing.

Democrats want everyone to have just barely more than nothing. Except politicians, of course.

Independents are just idiots.

Third party people are even bigger idiots.

Giving "power" to the people was a brilliant move by the founders... now everyone has one useless vote and no power.

Background radiation

The danger in socially interacting with the Internet as humans lies in that it depends entirely upon our physical presence and attention.

Technology is improving. People are not.

There are more people suffering now than ever before. Billions of them. Billions of lives. Individual experiences, each reflecting your ability to have your own experiences. Not one of these people deserves to suffer.

There are many doomsday scenarios involving the conquering of our world by machines and computers. This prophecy will come true.

It seems everyone on earth does have a common goal. We dutifully aim to create and support the next apex of the food chain. A botnet consuming vast power will generate and broadcast millions of fuckabytes of useless, chaotic, random data and flood the universe with garbage at our expense.

I've often wondered what "background radiation" really is...

Religious bullshit

I rely on my brain to create my world. This remarkable organ collapses the chaotic universe within my existence into models and symbols that make sense to me. Through my studies in art, I have learned that the brain is always right. It tells me when something is wrong, false, or imperfect. Through my decades of rumination, I have come to understand certain undeniable truths.

There is no singular, absolute universe. Consciousness is the creation of a single universe, by a single being, within the sea of entwined universes. This is the collective conscious experience of all sentient beings. Humans are not the only beings capable of this feat as several animal species, such as chimpanzees, dolphins, elephants, and crows are indeed sentient. Such beings, and possibly many others, have brains which are complex enough to reach a theoretical threshold for collapsing the ambient multiverse of existence into a unique personal instance; the conscious.

In similar manner, sentient brains create God. This maligned concept is the source of all human love and hate. God is not singular. It is created by all who conceptualize its existence within their own tangle of the overall entwinement. God is pure love because it is not only incapable of hate, but absolutely immune to it. Anyone who claims anything against this revelation of truth is wrong. No belief or religious concept can defeat this truth. You will know this for yourself if you've discovered it within yourself, as I have for myself.

Humans create hatred, evil, misunderstanding, and all sources of a hell that, much like God, have been largely maligned by sentient minds. No God of pure love would create eternal punishment for those who did not discover the truth about love during their lifetime because death is the eternal heaven of pure bliss. Many scores of beings have sought to achieve a lasting bliss in life on earth. Sadly, this impossible objective can only be achieved in the bliss that is death.

Think about it...